Vice Vixen

Epic blogging fail, I TOTALLY MOVED

So as your humble narrator is now blogging-as-work, I went to renew my custom domain name. And lo, some dumbass domain-name clearinghouse has registered my site.


Fear not, oh my five readers. Vice Vixen has gotten a makeover. And now, please find me at :



Matthew’s Party
June 3, 2009, 4:10 am
Filed under: funny ha ha, funny strange, ha, schadenfreude, the good fight

douche2Too long to explain, but effing hilarious.

Last week when I checked my mailbox, I found that my new neighbour had left me a note stating that he was having a party and to let him know if the noise was too loud.

The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn’t invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn’t come.

Read on.

Hello… Newark?

So, I moved to Newark.  It’s weird.  I actually seriously dig it here.  I loved and will always love Brooklyn, but Newark is like what I imagine Brooklyn used to be like.  Everything here seems so undiscovered and ignored and just waiting for a bunch of crazy kids to move in and repurpose it in some kind of DIY revolution.  My house is like that.

So I was excited to see this article linked and discussed everywhere this week.  Apparently Newark is turning around.  That would almost be too bad.  Newark’s got so much grit to it but it’s open and …clean in a way Brooklyn isn’t.  I’m 10 minutes from the Holland and 10 minutes from a Target and Wal-Mart in Union.  If Whitey McHipster came over from Brooklyn and priced my ass out I’d be so upset.  All the good ethnic places would be replaced with Tempo Prestos.  And I’d have to listen to douchey  conversations on the Path train.

Hipsters, stay back!

Vice Vixen does a victory dance!
October 31, 2007, 12:58 am
Filed under: geek love, haute, i own it, indolence, sanctimony, schadenfreude, sin in general, the good fight

It only took me like a week and a half to find a new job!  And it’s at a way more established company!  But I’ve been a little tired lately, so I’ve been quiet.

A trite but effective cure-all
September 26, 2007, 5:35 am
Filed under: cheap, eat, fetish, indolence, intoxicants, love, lust, schadenfreude, sex, sin in general

The Trader Joe’s Pound Plus chocolate bar* is such a godsend to the stress eater.  Kind of like a large, flat, tasty brick, this inexpensive but indulgent treat is a good tool for bouts of wallowing in sadness or fear.  My boyfriend broke it up into pieces because me biting into a bar of chocolate roughly the size of my head was unnerving.  Eh, I find it comforting.  Maybe he was afraid it would suffocate him when he was sleeping.  Not that farfetched, since I did cuddle with it every night.

From Urban Dictionary:

  Trader Joe’s


a store that has mostly white people

i went to Trader Joe’s and i saw lots of white people!

Downtown Manhattan Vice Map!

An idea that’s way overdue- someone’s gone and made a walking tour vice-map of Lower Manhattan!  Now I know what to do on my next summer vacation!  (Via Thrilllist.)

This blog really should be a book.
August 14, 2007, 4:12 am
Filed under: entertainment, ha, indolence, rage, sanctimony, schadenfreude, shopping

Not my blog, this funny blog about working at Wal-Mart.  I can’t help it- I do go to Wal-Mart when the opportunity presents itself, and it is an evil, scary place.  The stories on the above link are hilarious and fascinating, and somehow exactly what you’d imagine working at a Wal-Mart returns desk would be like.