Vice Vixen

Epic blogging fail, I TOTALLY MOVED

So as your humble narrator is now blogging-as-work, I went to renew my custom domain name. And lo, some dumbass domain-name clearinghouse has registered my site.


Fear not, oh my five readers. Vice Vixen has gotten a makeover. And now, please find me at :



I’m going to eat one of these every day for the rest of my life.
January 19, 2008, 2:30 am
Filed under: cheap, eat, in the house, indolence, kitchen, love, shopping, the next big thing

Seriously, I’m not kidding. How can Trader Joe’s be so good and so cheap and so awesomeriffic? These Veggie Masala burgers (I believe I mocked my roommate for purchasing them on one of our shopping trips but later snuck them in my cart) are really easy to heat up and super, super tasty. And potatoey. And curry-tasty. What else do you need to hear?

Smoking bowls
January 4, 2008, 3:39 am
Filed under: accessories, death by cute, eat, haute, in the house, kitchen, lust, retro, shopping

I absolutely have to own these amazing bowls.  I didn’t really think bowls could be improved by a stem, but this is genius.  Not only are they aesthetically enticing (bowls!), but the stem is a boon if your mom, like mine, insists you have a hole in your lip.   And it even affords you privacy if you don’t want people’s eyes all over your Boo-Berry.

And my top twelve distractions of 2007…
  • Smoking– In addition to my beloved Djarums, I am also digging these weird Springwater cigs. Smoking is so underrated.
  • Trader Joe’s– It’s like someone hosed the place down in awesome and win. Tarte d’Alsace and some two buck Chuck makes you almost feel not-poor for like, fifteen whole minutes. Truffles for under $3. Real instant mash. Natural beauty supplies. If only they added house brand valium and vicodin and staffed it with teenage brits, I’d never leave.
  • Queer as Folk reruns on Logo- anyone who hates on touchy touchy boylove needs to watch Brian and Justin dancing at the prom. I can’t think of anything more romantic in the history of romance ever.
  • My imaginary boyfriend- is he real? Even I’m not sure anymore but I’ve still never seen anyone cuter. If I’m remembering right.

Leading me to…

  • Hitachi Magic Wand– It’s just so powerful, I might have to tell my roommates I use it for old car accident injuries. Every time Boondock Saints is on, my back just starts acting up. Especially during the outtakes.
  • Leisurewear– It’s gotten to the point where my one career goal is to be able to wear sexy sweats and sleek sneakers. Career garb is so awful in so many ways, it always feels dirty.
  • Jay-Z’s American Gangster– I think this album is gonna give The Black Album a serious run for its money in the long-term. Yeah, I said it. Fucking genius, this is.
  • On Demand Programming– why can’t the fuckwits who are responsible for cable make one that fucking works already? I’m paying $3 a month, and I want to watch Hookers at the Point for the sixteenth time. Damn you, iO.
  • My car- Newark is so fucking weird- I can leave my easy-to-park-in space and be in the Holland Tunnel in ten minutes. You can’t even get from Tillary Street to the Manhattan Bridge in that amount of time, who knew? Anyway, driving stick in Jersey traffic is scary, but now I have a Beetle again.
  • Scrabulous– Eamon playing “VAGINA” for twelve points, shocking only that it came two whole plays into the game.

  • My toddler versus my prized possessions– this pint-sized terrorist has a knack for destroying electronics and media in seconds, while you’re just trying to form the “nuh” in “no.” Then she manages to turn on the waterworks and make you feel guilty.
  • Jack White– sexy, cheeky, mysterious, and tall. Considering all that and the hair, I’d marry him like, right this second.

A trite but effective cure-all
September 26, 2007, 5:35 am
Filed under: cheap, eat, fetish, indolence, intoxicants, love, lust, schadenfreude, sex, sin in general

The Trader Joe’s Pound Plus chocolate bar* is such a godsend to the stress eater.  Kind of like a large, flat, tasty brick, this inexpensive but indulgent treat is a good tool for bouts of wallowing in sadness or fear.  My boyfriend broke it up into pieces because me biting into a bar of chocolate roughly the size of my head was unnerving.  Eh, I find it comforting.  Maybe he was afraid it would suffocate him when he was sleeping.  Not that farfetched, since I did cuddle with it every night.

From Urban Dictionary:

  Trader Joe’s


a store that has mostly white people

i went to Trader Joe’s and i saw lots of white people!

Schoolgirl fetish, housey fetish…
August 27, 2007, 2:58 am
Filed under: eat, fetish, geek love, in the house, lust, retro, sex, shopping, sin in general

I’ve always had a jones for industrial stuff- restaurant ware, vats of ketchup, anything you need a special license or card or blagging skills to buy. I immediately fell for these super sturdy, school issue tables. Not only for their hardiness and super-stealiness, but also because they’d be perfect for playing tie me up detention.

This is a public service announcement…
August 21, 2007, 1:06 am
Filed under: brooklyn, cheap, eat, haute, lust, shopping, sin in general

…courtesy of Gridskipper.  The best ice cream in New York.  I can sadly confess to only having sampled one (Emack and Bolio’s), but it is damn good.  Where’s Il Laboratorio del Gelato?  No honorable mention for Rice to Riches?