Vice Vixen


Epic blogging fail, I TOTALLY MOVED

So as your humble narrator is now blogging-as-work, I went to renew my custom domain name. And lo, some dumbass domain-name clearinghouse has registered my site.

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!?!

Fear not, oh my five readers. Vice Vixen has gotten a makeover. And now, please find me at :

FEMMEDANGEREUSE.COM




Supermarket Shopping Spree

Normally, I like to mix it up a bit, but I was very impressed by the indie gooda on offer at Supermarket.

First up- an understated leather wallet that says BAMF without saying it.

Smoking accessories are few and far between, and this cigarette holder confirms the badass status to which you are entitled as a smoker.

Sappy but cool- interlocking promise/wedding/love you rings.

Gotcha! Wedding rings.

Pretty, pretty cleaver necklace.

I’m sorry, what now?

You were saying?



White Stripes on Conan O’Brien’s last show
February 21, 2009, 8:04 pm
Filed under: boys, death by cute, entertainment, geek love, jack white, love, lust, pride, the next big thing

Jack White is as dreamy as ever, and Meg plays guitar!



Geek out quietly
February 20, 2009, 4:46 am
Filed under: entertainment, geek love, OTP, pride, shopping, wear

I recently spent time with a young man who, when I complimented his shirt, stated proudly, “it’s from Battlestar Galactica!” Now, not all girls are as revved up as geekery as I. Which I kept to myself because, hey, geekiness is hot.

These tees address many fandoms with one basic design, and don’t out you for atomic wedgies at the mall.



Thank God there’s finally a word for this!
The female equivalent of a cock block.
I was hitting on that guy, but my girlfriend stepped in and totally box locked me.


Sweet and Sad and you’ve heard it before…
January 19, 2008, 4:01 pm
Filed under: death by cute, fetish, geek love, jersey love, love, lust, OTP, pride, retro, sanctimony, sin in general, sleep

Courtesy of Edgar Allan Poe, just because I’m in that kind of mood…

ANNABELLE LEE

Author: Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulcher
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me
Yes! that was the reason
(as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In the sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.



Kissing contest! Rock!
January 19, 2008, 2:45 am
Filed under: boys, death by cute, fetish, geek love, haute, indolence, love, lust, sex, sin in general, the next big thing

Trying to percolate my own sappy plans for Valentine’s Day (which happens to be my favorite holiday) made me super excited to find out about the Boudoir Essentials 2nd Annual Kissing Contest.  As friends of the blog (TM), we’ve got to shout out the utter coolness of this.  Makeout pics submitted to the site will be posted and voted on by BE staff, and you can win OMG sex toys *and* lingerie.  That’s what I’m talking about.



Get your geek on…
January 18, 2008, 3:09 am
Filed under: boys, entertainment, fetish, geek love, haute, lust, pin-ups, pride, retro, sex, sin in general, the good fight

Something about nerds being all revved up is kinda hot. This pinup calendar is for the fanboy in your life. (Or fangirl, if she swings that way.) With regular and *geeky* holidays. Can we get one with nerdy boys, please?



Amazon *really* thinks I want this apron.

It must know me pretty well, because this is totally something I’d wear.  And after weeks of constantly infiltrating the sidebars of blogs I read with suggestions based on my browsing history, I’m sold on cherry aprons. I give in, okay? Send me two.



Tell me a story?

Something about naughtifying your standard bedtime tales is just very hot.  This collection of erotic fairytales speaks to the princess fantasies every girl has, and probably the dominatrix ones, too.  I want it for the subway.



And my top twelve distractions of 2007…
  • Smoking- In addition to my beloved Djarums, I am also digging these weird Springwater cigs. Smoking is so underrated.
  • Trader Joe’s- It’s like someone hosed the place down in awesome and win. Tarte d’Alsace and some two buck Chuck makes you almost feel not-poor for like, fifteen whole minutes. Truffles for under $3. Real instant mash. Natural beauty supplies. If only they added house brand valium and vicodin and staffed it with teenage brits, I’d never leave.
  • Queer as Folk reruns on Logo- anyone who hates on touchy touchy boylove needs to watch Brian and Justin dancing at the prom. I can’t think of anything more romantic in the history of romance ever.
  • My imaginary boyfriend- is he real? Even I’m not sure anymore but I’ve still never seen anyone cuter. If I’m remembering right.

Leading me to…

  • Hitachi Magic Wand- It’s just so powerful, I might have to tell my roommates I use it for old car accident injuries. Every time Boondock Saints is on, my back just starts acting up. Especially during the outtakes.
  • Leisurewear- It’s gotten to the point where my one career goal is to be able to wear sexy sweats and sleek sneakers. Career garb is so awful in so many ways, it always feels dirty.
  • Jay-Z’s American Gangster- I think this album is gonna give The Black Album a serious run for its money in the long-term. Yeah, I said it. Fucking genius, this is.
  • On Demand Programming- why can’t the fuckwits who are responsible for cable make one that fucking works already? I’m paying $3 a month, and I want to watch Hookers at the Point for the sixteenth time. Damn you, iO.
  • My car- Newark is so fucking weird- I can leave my easy-to-park-in space and be in the Holland Tunnel in ten minutes. You can’t even get from Tillary Street to the Manhattan Bridge in that amount of time, who knew? Anyway, driving stick in Jersey traffic is scary, but now I have a Beetle again.
  • Scrabulous- Eamon playing “VAGINA” for twelve points, shocking only that it came two whole plays into the game.

  • My toddler versus my prized possessions- this pint-sized terrorist has a knack for destroying electronics and media in seconds, while you’re just trying to form the “nuh” in “no.” Then she manages to turn on the waterworks and make you feel guilty.
  • Jack White- sexy, cheeky, mysterious, and tall. Considering all that and the hair, I’d marry him like, right this second.


Uncommon Goods shopping picks
November 9, 2007, 12:32 am
Filed under: accessories, boys, death by cute, fetish, geek love, in the house, love, lust, sex, shopping, sleep, totally gay, wear

So many good things, I couldn’t be arsed to narrow it down:

 Sex flashcards.  So goshdarn cute.

Hand-holding mittens.  Cause plain ones aren’t gay enough.

Tree locket.  Just adorable.

Happy Buddha pen stand- to ward off bad work juju.

And a sappy pillow.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” 



Jay-Z fucking represents!
November 4, 2007, 3:35 am
Filed under: brooklyn, death by cute, entertainment, geek love, ha, haute, love, nyc, pillaging, pride, the good fight

Jay-Z shows love to Dublin.



Vice Vixen does a victory dance!
October 31, 2007, 12:58 am
Filed under: geek love, haute, i own it, indolence, sanctimony, schadenfreude, sin in general, the good fight

It only took me like a week and a half to find a new job!  And it’s at a way more established company!  But I’ve been a little tired lately, so I’ve been quiet.



OMG, I’m in love…
October 25, 2007, 12:59 am
Filed under: death by cute, entertainment, geek love, indolence, love, lust, retro

Is anyone else watching Pushing Daisies?  Despite the comparisons, I didn’t *love* Amelie, but I love this show.  I suppose there’s an element that springs from loving someone out of your reach, but Kristen Chenowith sang Birdhouse in Your Soul on tonight’s episode.  TMBG FTW!



Harry Potter Slashers vindicated, Dumbledore’s OMG teh gay!

Slashers in the HP fandom, I’ve heard, have always vocally hoped someone, anyone in the HP books would be confirmed as gay.  We they got their wish this week when JKR confirmed what no one seemed to suspect.  Dumbledore was totally gay for Grindelwald!  Ha, ha.  So cool.  And fandom imploded.  And imploded again.  It even made Wikipedia.

I think now it’s safe for JKR to tell us what we already know- Harry and Draco were secretly in love with each other all those years and it’s bittersweet when they see each other with their kids and beards wives.  Harry/Draco OTP!



If you’re gonna be a bag lady, be a stylish one
October 19, 2007, 8:41 pm
Filed under: accessories, brooklyn, cheap, death by cute, geek love, nyc, shopping, sin in general, wear

I have a problem with my gear multiplying.  As I move from place to place during the day, I am followed in a pigpen like fashion by a rotating amount of Djarum packs, lighters, red lipsticks, Lego Star Wars figurines, my phone, random notebooks, and you get the picture.  On any given day I can return home with way more items than I left with.  I love these compact and cute reusable totes that you can just stick in the bottom of your bag, in case.  I would worry, though, about not only carrying one more thing, but using it cause it’s there.  Still, it’s better to be prepared…*

*ridiculous facial expression optional.



Your other filofax

More on organization fetish.  Many women’s magazine’s posit couples need to schedule their romance and stick to it.  That’s not such a bad idea, but it sounds pretty unsexy.  This pretty little planner is an adorable way to do that.  Artfully styled, and very useful.



Everyone’s blogging airstreams, but I saw them first!

I’ve been wanting an Airstream like, whoa lately.  Something about the idea of an inexpensive (compared to a house), super-mod, goes-anywhere abode is so thrilling and bohemian.  The city life thing can really grind you down, and you can’t drive your apartment down to Florida for the weekend.  Also, they have a very romantic pod-like feel to them- as if you could create a dirty weekend with no notice and no planning.  Coooool.



My pillow is not! lumpy
October 17, 2007, 1:34 am
Filed under: accessories, boys, fetish, gadgetry, geek love, haute, in the house, indolence, lust, sex, sin in general

Any bad boy or girl with a collection of toys will appreciate the Sex Kitten Toy Storage Pillow from Boudoir Essentials.  Keeping the kids or cats out of your personal toy box is always a challenge, and this will blend right in with your leopard and/or pink and black bordello boudoir couture.  And it’s fuzzy.



Lucky Numbers: 2, 12, 16, 72, and 8
October 11, 2007, 9:17 pm
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, jewels, shopping, wear

Fortune Cookie charms are so adorable.  I like jewelry that signifies something , and what’s more hopeful than a a fortune cookie?  It offers insight, lucky numbers, and vague future predictions.  And this charm is just the cutest.



Threadless Does Derby
October 8, 2007, 7:41 pm
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, ha, pin-ups, pride, rage, skate, the good fight, wear

Threadless just dropped this funky, girly derby-themed shirt for Halloween.  As always with Threadless, it’s get it while you can.  Really digging the fake movie/comic book vibe.  Too cool!



Does this count as stalking?
October 7, 2007, 5:37 am
Filed under: accessories, brooklyn, death by cute, geek love, ha, indolence, lust, retro, sassy, the good fight, wear

A few months ago I was stuck in a cab on Smith Street for what seemed like hours. Finally when the cab sped up I caught a glimpse of this adorable, unique tee-shirt but why wasn’t I paying more attention?!? it’s not like I can screech at the cab driver to stop so I can go peer in the window and maybe go in and buy one. That would be crazy. Steve’s always on Smith Street so I asked him to look. Every day. For all eternity. He finally remembered but got the name wrong so he had to go back. That actually happened. But now I know and it was totally worth waiting for. I really, really love popsicles but I’ve always had a weakness for distlefinks. I think I talk about distlefinks more than anyone on the internet. Skates are cool, too.



On the day that you were born the angels got together…
October 6, 2007, 4:49 pm
Filed under: entertainment, gadgetry, geek love, makeup, sin in general, vanity

While away, I rented the visually stunning and very engaging Mirrormask.  I highly recommend it, but that’s beside the point.  My dreams were haunted by this eerie version of Close To You by the Carpenters.  I woke up and mentioned to my bunk mate it was stuck in my head, to which he replied, Cheers, babe- now it’s stuck in mine!  But the really creepy part?  It reminded my of my daughter!  Anyway, finally as spooky as it deserves to be…



Fifty two lickup?
October 4, 2007, 3:19 am
Filed under: entertainment, fetish, geek love, in the house, love, lust, ravaging, sex, sin in general

I like the naughty minimalism of this cherry red sex deck from Toys in Babeland.  I also like the suggestion to leave one for your lover to find at some point in the day- kind of like a to do list.



Lasso the moon for me, baby?
October 4, 2007, 3:06 am
Filed under: death by cute, gadgetry, geek love, ha, haute, in the house, indolence, jewels, love, lust

I have a thing for crescent moons- I have one tattooed over my sternum.  Via Geekologie, a moon for your house.  It’s like, from Russia or something.  Huge, but if I had a big old converted barn I bet I could make it work.



Are you a slacker mom?

Does anyone else wanna smack someone when they see that?  If you’ve borne a child at any point in your life, it should be illegal to call you a slacker, ever.  But lots of mommies still love their vices, as evidenced by this cute kids’ tee.



I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…
September 29, 2007, 3:37 am
Filed under: accessories, boys, geek love, haute, love, lust, sex, wear

The most romantic wedding item I’ve seen in a long time- wedding rings inscribed with your partner’s fingerprint.  Sweet and subtle, and sciency.



And the hits just keep on coming.

Oh, dear. Vice Vixen needs a job! This was unexpected and while it couldn’t come at a worse time, when is it a good time to look for a job? Still, we all know I get my by any means on whenever there’s a drought, and I’ve already dusted off my resume and made some good connections. So…

Young professional;

Excellent writing skills;

Whip smart;

Able to solve problems creatively;

thoughtful and articulate;

works well on a team;

great phone skills;

takes direction well;

helpful;

sunny disposition;

hands on;

works well under pressure;

culturally diverse;

excellent customer service skills;

and professional appearance.

Available for interview immediately. Hiring?



I love this song.
September 22, 2007, 8:10 pm
Filed under: entertainment, geek love, love

My exhusbandroommate keeps playing it, so I’m trying to get it out of my head.



Design Sponge Looooove.
September 22, 2007, 7:57 pm
Filed under: accessories, brooklyn, death by cute, geek love, haute, in the house, indolence, lust, nyc, pin-ups, retro, sassy

I’ve always wanted a swanky-pants office.  And this one just completely takes the cake.  Gorgeous.  Amazing.  Inspiring.  Pink.  Oh, Design Sponge.  Y u so crazy awesome?



Pretend to be a time traveler day!
September 22, 2007, 3:37 am
Filed under: cheap, cosplay, fetish, gadgetry, geek love, ha, pillaging, ravaging, retro

Via Snopes, the coolest fake holiday since International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Thanks, snopes!

Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day

You must spend the entire day in costume and character. The only rule is that you cannot actually tell anyone that you are a time traveler. Other than that, anything’s game.

There are three possible options:

1) Utopian/cliché Future – “If the Future did a documentary of the last fifty years, this is how badly the reenactors would dress.” Think Star Trek: TNG or the Time Travelers from Hob. Ever see how the society in Futurama sees the 20th century? Run with it. Your job is to dress with moderately anachronistic clothing and speak in slang from varying decades. Here are some good starters:

- Greet people by referring to things that don’t yet exist or haven’t existed for a long time. Example: “Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?” “What spectrum will today’s broadcast be in?” and “Your king must be a kindly soul!”

- Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.

2) Dystopian Future – This one offers a little more flexibility. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Freejack. The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they’ve gone back in time. Some starters:

- If you go the “prisoner who’s escaped the future” try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you’ve never seen it before.

- Walk up to random people and say “WHAT YEAR IS THIS?” and when they tell you, get quiet and then say “Then there’s still time!” and run off.

- Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell “NOOOOOOOOO”

- Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.

- Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say “In thirty years dial this number. You’ll know what to do after that.” Then slip away.

2) The Past – This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture’s set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers:

- Airplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while.

- Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic grocery doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.

- Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and shorts on women are especially scary.



Want!
September 21, 2007, 2:23 am
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, lust, pin-ups, sassy, sex, shopping, skate, wear

UK site.  The fit of the shirt is iffy, but the graphic is devine.  Totally cute!



Bordello Bath

Via Uncrate, cool retro sexiness in a bath towel.  Who knew?



Sad Emo Etsy Picks…
September 20, 2007, 4:13 am
Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, death by cute, geek love, love, lust, shopping, wear

…because my playdate is over.  >sniff<  Bear in mind, Etsy links expire, so check the seller’s main page.

Some bitch stole my lunch money.

More accurate than Hallmark, huh?

Cuddletron5000.

Pretty.

My tree is special.


Spillage.

And my personal favorite…

Skin deep.



Demure jacket…
September 18, 2007, 6:04 am
Filed under: death by cute, geek love, haute, love, lust, pin-ups, retro, wear

to wear with nothing underneath.



Downtown Manhattan Vice Map!

An idea that’s way overdue- someone’s gone and made a walking tour vice-map of Lower Manhattan!  Now I know what to do on my next summer vacation!  (Via Thrilllist.)



She’s homegrown and you can get a kiss in her backyard…
August 31, 2007, 2:16 pm
Filed under: bathing, brooklyn, cheap, death by cute, geek love, haute, indolence, nyc, shopping, the good fight, vanity

I’ve gone on and on about my love for homegrown beauty products, and I lovelovelove The Bubble Roome’s Brooklyn-themed natural offerings. Now that their site’s back up, I’mma have to check out their gorgeously-packaged Hemp Oil Lotion. None of the scents are based on my favorite- dark chocolate- but the Clementine & Cedarwood looks like a really nice option.



Show love to the sister city…
August 31, 2007, 1:34 am
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, haute, love, pride, the good fight, wear

On the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, you can shout out our down-south siblings with one of these cool Storyville tees.  There are some New Orleans centric ones, some not.  In addition to this one, I’m quite fond of “make levees, not war” but what do I know?



Every now and again you have to pick up a pen
August 28, 2007, 3:12 am
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, in the house, pin-ups, retro

and write a note by hand.  A lot of my favorite magazines have been doing stories on bespoke and generally fancy stationary, and I’m always put off by the high prices and bleh designs.  E-mails- lets face it- generally look dumb with colors, strange fonts, and images embedded.  So when you’re not using it, you can get something colorful and unique at this etsy shop.  This chick makes all kinds of retro, whimsical, crisp designs.  And they’re insanely reasonably priced.



Sweater season is upon us…
August 28, 2007, 2:42 am
Filed under: accessories, death by cute, fetish, geek love, lust, pin-ups, retro, sex, shopping, sin in general, wear

…how’s about rockin’ some pointy ta-tas?  I totally dig how these bras make you completely, unflinchingly naughty while you’re wearing a totally covered up sweater.  Those 50s chicks really knew how to bring it, didn’t they?

The matching panties?  That’s a panty, thong wearers take note.



Schoolgirl fetish, housey fetish…
August 27, 2007, 2:58 am
Filed under: eat, fetish, geek love, in the house, lust, retro, sex, shopping, sin in general

I’ve always had a jones for industrial stuff- restaurant ware, vats of ketchup, anything you need a special license or card or blagging skills to buy. I immediately fell for these super sturdy, school issue tables. Not only for their hardiness and super-stealiness, but also because they’d be perfect for playing tie me up detention.



Hands off, bitches!
August 24, 2007, 3:38 pm
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, ha, rage, shopping

Heh… these luggage tags made me smile, because I hate it when my stuff is on the carousel and someone touches it or looks at it.  Move on, that’s my bag! 



Foofy, luxe bondage

This pricey little number is patently adorable.  A heart charm, Swarovski crystals, and gorgeous bright feather cuffs are light, sweet, and totally romantic.  I love their innocent feel because being tied up is totally naughty.



The fracking “Crocs conundrum” again
August 21, 2007, 1:17 am
Filed under: accessories, geek love, i own it, indolence, nyc, rage, shoe lust, shopping, sin in general, wear

God damn you, Crocs, and your Croccy croslite material.  Every time I get away from your cloudlike shoes, you draw me back in with something.  First my sister bought me the Athens sandals, which are sleekish and super wearable.  And now this.  Slim little toe-cleavage baring Mary-frickin-janes.  That don’t need socks.  That can go in the dishwasher!  I’ve been wearing maryjanes since I was three.  Stop targeting me, Crocs!

I mean, the main focus of this site is doing what feels good.  And they feel good, and that’s enough, right?  Right?  Are they gonna revoke my FIT degree?



Auto-erotica… (heh, heh, heh)
August 16, 2007, 2:38 am
Filed under: boys, entertainment, fetish, geek love, lust, pillaging, ravaging, sex, sin in general, smooth criminal

Clever pun, right?  This book seems more like a need-to-know guide than a novelty sex book.  I mean, you can’t always be in or near bed when the mood strikes.  But you can usually pull over…



Because rollergirls need excuses to get ass rubs?
August 16, 2007, 2:12 am
Filed under: geek love, indolence, lust, pillaging, rage, ravaging, sex, sin in general, skate, the good fight, vanity

I love indie beauty products.  It can be hit or miss, but so much stuff you buy in the store comes from the same exact cosmetic chemists in Jersey.  And this natural, healing balm is made especially to soothe nasty skate boo-boos.  Which you don’t tend to get if you’re a mega scaredy cat like me.  (Main Page…)

(And it comes in a post-bout kit!)



Pretty, cozy remedy for Aunt Flo
August 14, 2007, 9:13 pm
Filed under: accessories, cheap, geek love, in the house, indolence, love, sleep

I’ve never been the type to get sidelined with cramps, but if I did, I’d want one of these cutesy heart hot-water bottles.  A mild consolation when you’re doubled over in bed watching Lifetime Movie Network.  (Just admit it, everyone knows.)



The ultimate hotel party…
August 13, 2007, 4:01 pm
Filed under: entertainment, gadgetry, geek love, in the house, indolence, pillaging, sex, sin in general

…could be hosted in one of these awesome things.  They sell for $500K and accommodate like 8 million people.  Awesomeriffic!



Since transit is fucked, I OMG want one!

Well, I’ve wanted a Vespa for eons anyway.  But check out this sweet modded one on Engadget:

Quang Nguyen, a forward thinking Vespa-modder (no pun intended) has managed to cram a touchscreen rockin’, WiFi sportin’, XP-equipped PC into his red GTS250




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