Filed under: bathing, cheap, femme dangereuse, fetish, i own it, lust, pin-ups, retro, sex, sin in general, vanity
I am a licensed esthetician. I am, however, not a licensed gymnast. Ergo, I
cannot wax my own bikini area. One of my snopes friends mentioned this under the radar product and I was, of course, skeptical. Nair gave me chemical burns rivaling napalm, and waxing by someone else took off more skin than unwanted hair.
You have to jimmy off the cap like a paint can, and the mixing process is kind of scary. Also, since all my spatulas are- well, spatulas- I used the backside of a plastic knife. Which was totally ghetto.
But after the required seven minutes of sitting with a weird, cold paste on my nether regions, Magic Shaving Powder worked brilliantly as advertised and didn’t irritate me at all. Anywhere. As always, Vice Vixen is not responsible for anything you put in or around your hoo-ha, so proceed with caution.
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, femme dangereuse, haute, pin-ups, retro, shopping, wear
I rarely bare my arms in public due to an unfortunate incident in 11th grade Economics class. But even I get sick of cardigans from time to time, and I am lusting over this adorable little faux-fur stole from Babygirl Boutique. I love the over-the-topness for a dinner date.
Filed under: accessories, cheap, entertainment, gadgetry, in the house, indolence, lingerie, retro, shopping, smoking
Okay, so I haven’t posted since last Thursday. It’s been a busy couple of units of time. I had to move out of my apartment, on pretty short notice at that. It takes forfuckingever to find a place in the naked city, and after a few eh experiences, I found a commune in Newark to move to. So most of my time has been spent singing kum-ba-yah, smoking pot, and arguing over whose cruelty-free tofu burgers are in whose freezer. I’m kidding, you can totally get in trouble for saying stuff like that on your blog nowadays. And besides, would I eat a tofu burger? And it’s actually sort of co-housing, not a commune. In Newark of all places.
So living in a commune loft is actually pretty cool. It’s mostly boys, so there are no estrogen fueled hysterics. Plus, it’s a cool old converted factory, so I get to build all up in it. And I can rollerskate here. Some things that make co-housing situations overall better, IMHO- or, my loot:
These are my shiny red pots. Awesome, awesome pots. Top marks.

A sexy robe…

This tool makes you Macgyver in like three seconds. The rub? You need one of these motherfuckers to open it!

Lighting! I did this all by myself. The cords came from IKEA, but you can get them and the shades from Pearl River.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, gadgetry, in the house, indolence, retro, sex, shopping, sin in general, sleep
So I found some more star lights. I can imagine a cluster of these would create a soft, romantic glow in a bedroom And they’re crazy cheap.

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, gadgetry, lust, sex, sin in general
Tuck one of these in your makeup bag, and the overexposed crawl-in-the-dark becomes a thing of the past. (And check between the bed and the nightstand first. Trust me.)

Filed under: accessories, brooklyn, cheap, death by cute, geek love, nyc, shopping, sin in general, wear
I have a problem with my gear multiplying. As I move from place to place during the day, I am followed in a pigpen like fashion by a rotating amount of Djarum packs, lighters, red lipsticks, Lego Star Wars figurines, my phone, random notebooks, and you get the picture. On any given day I can return home with way more items than I left with. I love these compact and cute reusable totes that you can just stick in the bottom of your bag, in case. I would worry, though, about not only carrying one more thing, but using it cause it’s there. Still, it’s better to be prepared…*
*ridiculous facial expression optional.

Filed under: boys, cheap, death by cute, entertainment, geek love, haute, in the house, indolence, lust, retro, sex, sin in general, sleep
I’ve been wanting an Airstream like, whoa lately. Something about the idea of an inexpensive (compared to a house), super-mod, goes-anywhere abode is so thrilling and bohemian. The city life thing can really grind you down, and you can’t drive your apartment down to Florida for the weekend. Also, they have a very romantic pod-like feel to them- as if you could create a dirty weekend with no notice and no planning. Coooool.


Filed under: cheap, death by cute, in the house, indolence, lingerie, lust, pin-ups, retro, sales, sex, shopping, sin in general, sleep, wear
In my never ending quest for comfy, cute slips, I stumbled across this adorable sale piece from- wait for it- the Gap. Soft red cotton trimmed with wide lace strips. It’s sexy and practical. Kinda like me.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, jewels, shopping, wear
Fortune Cookie charms are so adorable. I like jewelry that signifies something , and what’s more hopeful than a a fortune cookie? It offers insight, lucky numbers, and vague future predictions. And this charm is just the cutest.
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, ha, pin-ups, pride, rage, skate, the good fight, wear
Threadless just dropped this funky, girly derby-themed shirt for Halloween. As always with Threadless, it’s get it while you can. Really digging the fake movie/comic book vibe. Too cool!

Filed under: accessories, cheap, fetish, i own it, love, lust, makeup, pin-ups, retro, shopping, vanity, wear
This fabulous blush stick eluded me for years. I read the reviews on Makeup Alley- get it now before they discontinue it! and then nothing. I scoured every WnW display I passed and saw no version of it. Then, like magic, it reappeared everywhere. I’d heard Coy was the perfect pink blush and was skeptical- blush was never an item I could find in drugstores. But they were right.
Coy is a creamy, highly pigmented, pure pink color that makes you look sweet, alive, and not overly made up. I use it on my lips to provide a neutral base for gloss. It’s been less than a week and this item is elevated to grail status on my vanity table. Don’t try to contour with it (or anything)- just apply a little to the apples of your cheeks and pat it out until it looks natural. Finish with a light dusting of powder if desired. I will never go back to prestige blush again, unless WnW discontinues it. Now, if they’d only resurrect Drac’s Drool- dumb name, perfect berry wash for lips.


Filed under: cheap, death by cute, entertainment, haute, i own it, indolence, love, retro, sex, sin in general, sleep
Sometimes the naked city can be a bit stifling. Overall, it’s the center of the world and we all know it, but sometimes that can be hard to remember when you’re sweaty and squished on the F train. Or when you need some time alone to talk with someone and everything in the world at your doorstep is just way too distracting.
A few weeks ago, I had a long visit with my super dreamy boyfriend and we needed a quiet place to chill. I saw the glowing reviews at Trip Advisor of the Roxbury and was sold. Because, is teh internets ever wrong? This well styled hideway has luxe details, reasonable rates, friendly owners, and all the quiet you could ever want. There’s an extensive continental breakfast and DVD collection, and the rooms are pimped enough so you’ll never need to leave unless you want to.
Extra props go to the Village Pub in nearby Margaretville. Being total lazy bastards, we napped through regular dinner hours every night. I would have starved to death without their surprisingly delicious burgers and my date tried the chicken cacciatore made from fresh local ingredients for a very reasonable price. Top marks all around. Some pics:







Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, fetish, lust, retro, sex, wear
The sweltering heat of today made me completely obsess over fall clothes. Any New Yorker will rant to you in depth about the challenges of arriving at work or an important interview without looking as if you’ve been dragged through a ditch on the way. Via Lucky, I found these perfect naughty or nice riding boots. The price is excellent, and they look as comfortable as sneakers. Jeans or fishnets?

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, drink, geek love, ha, indolence, intoxicants, sanctimony, sin in general, wear
Does anyone else wanna smack someone when they see that? If you’ve borne a child at any point in your life, it should be illegal to call you a slacker, ever. But lots of mommies still love their vices, as evidenced by this cute kids’ tee.
Filed under: cheap, drink, entertainment, haute, indolence, intoxicants, shopping, sin in general
NYT via Lifehacker- decent wines under $10!
Casa Cadaval Portugal Ribatejano , $8.99, ***
Domaine de l’Ameillaud France , $9, ** ½
Viña Gormaz Spain Ribera del Duero , $9, **
Georges Duboeuf France , $9, **
Altas Cumbres Argentina Mendoza , $9, **
Wyatt California Cabernet Sauvignon 2005 , $10, **
J. Vidal-Fleury France , $10, **
Domaine Monte de Luz , $7, **
Ravenswood California Vintner’s Blend , $10, **
Paringa , $9, * ½
Filed under: cheap, eat, fetish, indolence, intoxicants, love, lust, schadenfreude, sex, sin in general
The Trader Joe’s Pound Plus chocolate bar* is such a godsend to the stress eater. Kind of like a large, flat, tasty brick, this inexpensive but indulgent treat is a good tool for bouts of wallowing in sadness or fear. My boyfriend broke it up into pieces because me biting into a bar of chocolate roughly the size of my head was unnerving. Eh, I find it comforting. Maybe he was afraid it would suffocate him when he was sleeping. Not that farfetched, since I did cuddle with it every night.

From Urban Dictionary:
| Trader Joe’s |
|
||||
|
a store that has mostly white people i went to Trader Joe’s and i saw lots of white people! |
|||||
Filed under: cheap, cosplay, fetish, gadgetry, geek love, ha, pillaging, ravaging, retro
Via Snopes, the coolest fake holiday since International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Thanks, snopes!
Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day
You must spend the entire day in costume and character. The only rule is that you cannot actually tell anyone that you are a time traveler. Other than that, anything’s game.
There are three possible options:
1) Utopian/cliché Future – “If the Future did a documentary of the last fifty years, this is how badly the reenactors would dress.” Think Star Trek: TNG or the Time Travelers from Hob. Ever see how the society in Futurama sees the 20th century? Run with it. Your job is to dress with moderately anachronistic clothing and speak in slang from varying decades. Here are some good starters:
- Greet people by referring to things that don’t yet exist or haven’t existed for a long time. Example: “Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?” “What spectrum will today’s broadcast be in?” and “Your king must be a kindly soul!”
- Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.
2) Dystopian Future – This one offers a little more flexibility. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Freejack. The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they’ve gone back in time. Some starters:
- If you go the “prisoner who’s escaped the future” try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you’ve never seen it before.
- Walk up to random people and say “WHAT YEAR IS THIS?” and when they tell you, get quiet and then say “Then there’s still time!” and run off.
- Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell “NOOOOOOOOO”
- Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.
- Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say “In thirty years dial this number. You’ll know what to do after that.” Then slip away.
2) The Past – This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture’s set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers:
- Airplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while.
- Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic grocery doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.
- Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and shorts on women are especially scary.
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, in the house, lust, retro, shopping
I fell in love with this silly little dresser from JC Penney. It’s sleek and black and curved and stylish and would look perfect in the bedroom I have in my head. I hope it’s around when I stop being homeless. There’s a cherry-reddish version if you’re feeling more traditional.
Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, lust, pin-ups, sassy, sex, shopping, skate, wear
UK site. The fit of the shirt is iffy, but the graphic is devine. Totally cute!

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, death by cute, geek love, love, lust, shopping, wear
…because my playdate is over. >sniff< Bear in mind, Etsy links expire, so check the seller’s main page.

Some bitch stole my lunch money.

More accurate than Hallmark, huh?



And my personal favorite…

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, death by cute, fetish, i own it, indolence, lingerie, lust, pin-ups, retro, sales, sex, shopping, wear
I am on an eternal quest for comfortable, adorable boyshorts. I can never have enough, and I never feel like I have enough. I picked up a three pack of these lacy numbers at Target this Saturday, and they’re truly amazing. They stay put, look adorable, and you don’t even feel them all day. Top marks, I’m definitely stocking up!

Filed under: cheap, fetish, geek love, indolence, intoxicants, lust, nyc, pillaging, pin-ups, retro, schadenfreude, sex, sin in general
An idea that’s way overdue- someone’s gone and made a walking tour vice-map of Lower Manhattan! Now I know what to do on my next summer vacation! (Via Thrilllist.)

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, fetish, haute, jewels, lust, rage, sex, sin in general
I’ve posted handcuffs, knives, razorblades, and guns as jewels. Such is my heritage as half Brooklyn-Italian. However, these pieces are often large, cartoonish, and not too refined. Not so with this delicate cuff lariat from CutXPaste. It looks like it’s for the closet bad girl, the one who you don’t suspect til you’re tethered to the bedposts.

Filed under: bathing, brooklyn, cheap, death by cute, geek love, haute, indolence, nyc, shopping, the good fight, vanity
I’ve gone on and on about my love for homegrown beauty products, and I lovelovelove The Bubble Roome’s Brooklyn-themed natural offerings. Now that their site’s back up, I’mma have to check out their gorgeously-packaged Hemp Oil Lotion. None of the scents are based on my favorite- dark chocolate- but the Clementine & Cedarwood looks like a really nice option.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, haute, love, pride, the good fight, wear
On the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, you can shout out our down-south siblings with one of these cool Storyville tees. There are some New Orleans centric ones, some not. In addition to this one, I’m quite fond of “make levees, not war” but what do I know?

Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, in the house, pin-ups, retro
and write a note by hand. A lot of my favorite magazines have been doing stories on bespoke and generally fancy stationary, and I’m always put off by the high prices and bleh designs. E-mails- lets face it- generally look dumb with colors, strange fonts, and images embedded. So when you’re not using it, you can get something colorful and unique at this etsy shop. This chick makes all kinds of retro, whimsical, crisp designs. And they’re insanely reasonably priced.



Filed under: accessories, cheap, death by cute, geek love, ha, rage, shopping
Heh… these luggage tags made me smile, because I hate it when my stuff is on the carousel and someone touches it or looks at it. Move on, that’s my bag!
…courtesy of Gridskipper. The best ice cream in New York. I can sadly confess to only having sampled one (Emack and Bolio’s), but it is damn good. Where’s Il Laboratorio del Gelato? No honorable mention for Rice to Riches?

Filed under: accessories, cheap, drink, eat, in the house, indolence, shopping, sin in general, vanity
you know you need one. I can’t talk, I order in like, three meals a day.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, drink, haute, in the house, indolence, intoxicants
I like coffee weirdly. Well, many people like iced coffee. I’ll drink it iced but I don’t care much as long as it’s not hot. I like espresso-strength coffee. I don’t like supermarkety stuff like Folger’s because it’s Vietnamese coffee and too acidic and watery and stupid tasting. I like enough of it that it takes a while to drink.
I would generally get a “ghetto latte” from Starbucks or a Dunkin’ Donuts latte if I was lazy. But it was a pain to get and I really wanted the power to have coffee without leaving my house. My excellent boss Jennifer gave me an amazing FrancisFrancis in super-cool orange but I am superstitious about setting it up til I move.
Anyway, I found this awesome stuff (N.O. Brew) whilst surfing Amazon. I ordered some after a week and a half of waffling and It. Is. Awesome. Perfect coffee. Cans of coffee have tons of thickeners and other weirdness in them- this is just perfect, perfect, perfect. Mixed with milk, it tastes fresh and real and perfect. And it lasts for like 3 weeks in the fridge.
But now I need the perfect thermos. >Sigh<

ETA: Ghetto Lattes on Wikipedia!
Filed under: accessories, cheap, geek love, in the house, indolence, love, sleep
I’ve never been the type to get sidelined with cramps, but if I did, I’d want one of these cutesy heart hot-water bottles. A mild consolation when you’re doubled over in bed watching Lifetime Movie Network. (Just admit it, everyone knows.)

Filed under: accessories, cheap, in the house, indolence, intoxicants, love, lust, sex, sin in general
I tend to hang on to empty pretty bottles. I’ve even been known to buy them at old Amish farms. But I never knew what to do with them. If you like candles and drinking, these handy wine cork candles set a mood with what you have available. Cool huh?

Filed under: accessories, cheap, entertainment, gadgetry, in the house, indolence, intoxicants, sin in general
Isn’t it a pain in the ass to come into smokeable substances totally unprepared? This little device makes that less likely. I mean, you might not wanna bring it everywhere (your boss might steal it, for instance), but at least you can be discreetly prepared.

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, fetish, ha, indolence, love, lust, ravaging, sex, sin in general
Running low on inspiration? Pick up some Kama Sutra condoms for a new angle each time. Found this via the wonderfully named “Baller Goods.” >giggle<

Filed under: cheap, fetish, gadgetry, geek love, in the house, retro, shopping
…really, I do. I get so worked up over the promise of a pretty new toy that will make my life easier. These fancy mousepads sport calendars and to-do lists, and spiff up your desktop. Sweet.

Filed under: brooklyn, cheap, drink, eat, entertainment, geek love, indolence, nyc, pillaging, ravaging, sin in general, skate, sleep
I am just getting my socialization on this weekend in a hardcore way. I:
- Celebrated my main gay’s 21st birthday;
- Met my Snopes friends and got sassed by an inattentive waiter (by proxy);
- And have a date at the Waldorf-Astoria tomorrow.
I sincerely hope to be back in one piece on Monday.

Filed under: brooklyn, cheap, geek love, rage, sassy, sin in general, skate, the good fight, wear
Skating with a DIY, non-bout-hosting skateclub means we raise funds. Like last night, Sweet Action Skate Club hosted a super-fun bake sale and recruiting party at Rope. And it kicked mega-ass. But we couldn’t skate inside on accounta Our Lady Mess almost killing herself once or twice there.
But the internet means an abundance of reasonably priced gear. Case in point- a custom (long length!) jersey tee at Shop Lattitude. I wanna get this one with my name and number, but the possibilities are like, so endless!

Filed under: accessories, cheap, gadgetry, geek love, i own it, lust, sex, shopping
I found this pen in my office recently. I started to use it, and immediately marched over to my boss and began grilling him as to the origins of the pen. He admitted ownership and offered the pen to me- I declined, not feeling right taking such an amazing writing instrument from him. I thought myself weird until our meeting later that day when my other boss, his sister (yes, as my ex often reminds me I am third in command in a chain of three) picked it up and had the same reaction… ooooh, whose pen is this? I’m convinced, I will never use another pen to write on again on the rare occasions I write with a pen.

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, geek love, ha, lust, rage, retro, sin in general, the good fight
Being a rather rough and tumble girl, I totally dug this cool shirt from Glarkware. The in-your-faceness of the slogan is kinda offset by the neutral, retro graphics.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, fetish, geek love, love, lust, rage, sex, the good fight
…just a touching piece of jewelry honoring the best character in the Potterverse.

Filed under: accessories, boys, cheap, fetish, geek love, ha, lust, retro, sex, sin in general
Some of my first sexual experiences were with a sullen, geeky, sci-fi boy. That kinda stuff marks you, forever. For a long time, the sound of glasses softly and surreptitiously being removed was like a Pavlovian sex-bell for me. I still dig the sullen loner (ILU, Severus! Always!) and it’s a given any boy-toy of mine will dig geek sex, too. I thought this condom protector (even though it’s a matter of record I shun them) was adorable and the perfect way to impress a guy whose 12-sided-die you’ve just discovered pre-nookie.

Filed under: accessories, bathing, boys, cheap, fetish, in the house, indolence, lust, sex, sin in general
You might as well pick yourself up some of these super handy, waterproof spa lights. Do I need to explain why seeing underwater is useful? Plus, candles can ignite hair, washcloths, or get splashed out. And of course, they don’t work underwater, so you can’t see the action.

Filed under: accessories, cheap, geek love, in the house, jack white, love, pin-ups, retro, shopping
I live in Brooklyn, a place full of eternal adolescents. A dad and baby with matching mohawks are not an uncommon sight here. Hammerpress has some awesome artsy prints and rock posters that wouldn’t look out of place in your CB2, Ikea, or Pottery Barn bedecked living room. And they’re well priced, too.
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I had a panty emergency yesterday. Oh, it was horrible. More of my undies decided to turn on me and fall down all the livelong day. I ducked into Victoria’s Secret because of the screaming signs proclaiming $1.99 panties!” But, strangely, there were no panties at that price. So close to the end of panty-torture, I grabbed the first pair of cotton boyshorts I saw, slapped down my swanky Commerce Bank debit card, and made a mad dash for the fitting room. And my whole day improved. I no longer needed my hands to hold up my panties and was free to smoke cigarettes, drink diet pepsi, and get texts about the new Harry Potter movie. Well worth the $7.50! (The panties, haven’t seen the film yet.)

Filed under: accessories, cheap, i own it, jewels, lingerie, pin-ups, shoe lust, vanity, wear
Being a woman under thirty but with a less-than-lithe body can be a shopping challenge. I’ve hovered around a size 14-16 for most of my adult life. (Uh huh. I said it. And I’m hot.) It’s not difficult to dress a body with dangerous curves, but finding clothes that look young can be a massive challenge. Plus size clothes can often be cut much more generously, so if you’re petite like I am, you get lost in them. I know Stacy and Clinton (shut up, I love them- they remind me of my BFFs Amy and Eamon) eschew wearing juniors clothing, but I drool every time I get the Alloy and Delia*s catalogs. Flatteringly cut clothes at non-designer prices, and the extended sizes offerings are decent. I especially love their offerings every fall- the pieces are indeed young, but can easily be worked into the wardrobe of a working woman as well. One simple request- make everything in the complete range of sizes!




Oh my God- I had to write it out- this nearly killed me with the cute. This adorable and sweet print is cute, sweet, and spare enough to hang without being too fussy for your wall. Again, due to the nature of Etsy, check the seller’s main page if the link expires.

Seriously- exactly *why* did this take so long to exist? At our daily what-the-hell are we gonna eat lunchtime meeting, I scanned menupages in the vain hope some interesting new lunch provider had magically appeared among the contenders. Recently, I noticed Insomnia Cookies lurking about and I was immediately entranced. They bring cookies to you! They encourage it! You don’t even need the pretense of ordering dinner like you do at the lovely 7th Avenue Donut Shop. They will just bring you cookies and not judge. And they’re only open nights and late, too, so let’s not pretend we don’t know their market. Please, come to Brooklyn. Add some token spelt cookies and you will own Park Slope. We all have screaming children, no cars, and an inclination towards indulgent and high-falutin concepts.
Filed under: boys, cheap, entertainment, fetish, indolence, love, lust, sex, sin in general, sleep
I may have mentioned once or twenty times I’m in love with someone who lives very, very far away. (Mars, if you ask my daughter.) When he visits, we generally get the fuck out of dodge for myriad reasons, not the least of which being it’s im-fricking-possible to have a quiet conversation in the naked city. In my quest for interesting lodging, I stumbled upon this naughty, kitschy hotel in Jersey. A dirty weekend there, I would imagine, might make you feel like some gangster’s comar or at least a wayward chick from a bygone era.




