Vice Vixen


Epic blogging fail, I TOTALLY MOVED

So as your humble narrator is now blogging-as-work, I went to renew my custom domain name. And lo, some dumbass domain-name clearinghouse has registered my site.

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!?!

Fear not, oh my five readers. Vice Vixen has gotten a makeover. And now, please find me at :

FEMMEDANGEREUSE.COM




I love this commercial

It makes me really happy and jealous. And driving drunk is dumb, but so is getting in strangers’ cars, chicas.

And sometimes cab drivers let you smoke.



Matthew’s Party
June 3, 2009, 4:10 am
Filed under: funny ha ha, funny strange, ha, schadenfreude, the good fight

douche2Too long to explain, but effing hilarious.

Last week when I checked my mailbox, I found that my new neighbour had left me a note stating that he was having a party and to let him know if the noise was too loud.

The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn’t invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn’t come.

Read on.



Holla at ya Hookah!

Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, this is the most amazing hookah pipe I’ve ever laid eyes on. Sleek. Silvery. Grown up. Portable. A conversation piece. Tiny, manageable, and comes standard with two mouthpieces. Like for a date. A sexy date. How lovely… From the site:

But that’s not all, it also comes with an elegant and beautiful carrying bag so you can take it with you to the next dinner party you are invited to and show off your cool. In any case, here’s some tech info you might find relevant and convincing, in case the gorgeous design hasn’t won you over yet:

Body and handle of narghile in solid polished pewter, brilliant nish-Burner made of hi-tech ceramic. Pipe made of aeronautical polyamide treated with Te on.

2 mouthpieces made of culinary standard nacrine (i.e. synthetic mother-of-pearl).

Tongs for tobacco and charcoal – Carrying case.



Oh, Eric

During my extended hiatus, I got totally addicted to True Blood. Like, fixated and obsessed. And part of what’s so damn compelling about that show is merely Alexander Skarsgard. I would be on that like white on rice.

Via Loving True Blood in Dallas, the most stunning animated GIF of all time.



Bikini Line Amazingness
February 25, 2009, 11:18 pm
Filed under: bathing, cheap, femme dangereuse, fetish, i own it, lust, pin-ups, retro, sex, sin in general, vanity

I am a licensed esthetician. I am, however, not a licensed gymnast. Ergo, I cannot wax my own bikini area. One of my snopes friends mentioned this under the radar product and I was, of course, skeptical. Nair gave me chemical burns rivaling napalm, and waxing by someone else took off more skin than unwanted hair.

You have to jimmy off the cap like a paint can, and the mixing process is kind of scary. Also, since all my spatulas are- well, spatulas- I used the backside of a plastic knife. Which was totally ghetto.

But after the required seven minutes of sitting with a weird, cold paste on my nether regions, Magic Shaving Powder worked brilliantly as advertised and didn’t irritate me at all. Anywhere. As always, Vice Vixen is not responsible for anything you put in or around your hoo-ha, so proceed with caution.



Supermarket Shopping Spree

Normally, I like to mix it up a bit, but I was very impressed by the indie gooda on offer at Supermarket.

First up- an understated leather wallet that says BAMF without saying it.

Smoking accessories are few and far between, and this cigarette holder confirms the badass status to which you are entitled as a smoker.

Sappy but cool- interlocking promise/wedding/love you rings.

Gotcha! Wedding rings.

Pretty, pretty cleaver necklace.

I’m sorry, what now?

You were saying?




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